My grandma told me she was dying.
And it has made me reconsider dying my roots.
I have been thinking about how I came to Hollywood, to escape the small town in Michigan.
Just like Norma Jeane and Madonna.
Only I ended up trapped in South Central, not in pictures.
My grandma wants me to make amends with my father.
But I still don't want to go home for the holidays.
I always feel like I failed in my career.
But the other day I was driving...and I thought about the girl so full of life that wanted to get the hell out of Michigan.
And I did.
So maybe I didn't fail afterall.
You did not fail. You got out of Michigan, and who knows what the writing gods have in store.
ReplyDeleteI often feel this same way about my life, but then I stop and think about all the things I've survived and that I've made it here in LA for over three years now. Just living here and not going crazy or ending up on the street or addicted to something is a huge victory for a boy (or girl) from small town Middle America.
I call it riding the wave of Life...
ReplyDeleteIt may not be the wave we dreamed about, but it is a wave in the ocean non-the-less... And it is your wave.
Timing plays such a role as well. Our dreams may not happen at the exact time we want them to, but that doesn't mean the dream is dead.
My love, stand in front of the mirror and recite these words (10) times: "I am nothing special; just a common woman with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."
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