Shitting Blood

But is constipation just the beginning? I read an article where this woman’s vagina fell out! Ignorance is bliss, which is why my parents never took us to doctors growing up. The old fear of the unknown…if you don’t know it, why fear it? But once you start reading, you can never go back. The article stated, “In addition to a uterine prolapse, Allison Henry also suffered rectocele - a condition wherein the rectum pushes into the back walls of the vagina. ‘That explained why I had been constipated for months,’ she says.” Oh my god! Rectocele! Here I was thinking the worst thing that could happen was that I could be allergic to the man’s sperm whom I wanted to conceive a child with—but no, it gets much worse…I could have my inners become my outers! Allison said she had to keep her sense of humor about it all—that and a good dose of anti-depressants. I thought Dr. Schultz was the dope…but if I’m dealing with all that, a few herbs aren’t going to be all I need to get through.

The last time I spoke to my best friend was Christmas Day 2007. I was in the car, about to go have Christmas dinner at a colleague’s. I remember we were reminiscing, laughing about all the Christmas’ we had spent together. When he had to poo really badly back when we were hanging out as teens, he used to make this gesture with his hands, where the finger was tipping the hole, about to come out. It was so disgusting and funny. You never know the last time you are going to speak to someone in their thirties before they die. He told me he was shitting blood. I think I laughed in horror with him, our dark humor trying to find some light. I know I told him he needed to see the doctor. “What does your sister say?” I asked. He hadn’t told her. He died the following week.